I woke up this morning to confront my worst fear...
My mom's motionless body.
She died at about 1 AM.
Overdosed, basically.

No, I'm not okay.. Never will be.
Now every thing's going to fall apart.

It's my fault she died. That night I knew something wasn't quite right. She was fucked up as usual, but she was hardly moving and her face was ice cold.. She also kept making this weird noise that I'm not sure how to explain. I over looked this dismissing it as merely being an effect of her usual doings...

She was one of the two people I cared for most. Yet I failed to show her my love.

I realize that I took her for granted, I never gave her the respect she deserved. The last words I said to her were mindlessly hateful. I will never be able to apologize to her for my ignorance...

No, although I promised my self that I'd end my life if something like this occurred.. I won't go through with it. I hate this damned life, I hate being alone, I hate who I am . But, I'm trapped here till my sister either grows up or dies, I swore to my mom that I'd take care of that little bitch if anything happened to her. I couldn't put my grandfather through another funeral anyways.


RIP

Tina M. Hendricks .. A loving mother.